well, it's been quite a while since I updated and I've got to say, a lot has happened. Let's start with the baby. He's doing awesome! Emery is now 6 weeks old and he's precious. He's sleeping about 4 hours at a stretch at night and still cat napping during the day. I hope to have him on a normal nap schedule pretty soon. He went to the doc for his 1 month visit and weighed 11 lbs. and was 23 inches long. (77 percentile and 75 percentile respectively). His noggin' is 79 percentile too! He tracks with eyes now and I even got an intentional smile this morning. So cute.
Now, on to momma (me). I was reading the December issue of O magazine with Ellen on the cover and I was reading her article and she makes a big point of saying you're only true to yourself and everyone you love if you're honest and truthful. In the interest of being honest, I need to let you know that I'm really struggling right now. I've been crying off and on for 6 weeks now and it's no fun. My mother and sister finally staged an intervention with me this week and made me go to the doctor. I cried through the appointment, especially when she said I'm suffering from Postpartum depression. I'm on drugs now. Not sure if they're helping yet.
I'm not going to hide behind this. I have it and I am normal. Lots of women have this and it's more common than anyone ever thinks. It's still hard to know I'm struggling with it though.
One last thing...Toby, my 4 year old Siamese cat almost bit the dust this last week. (Probably part of the reason for the above paragraph). He had bladder crystals from eating crappy food his whole life and was so clogged up he couldn't urinate. He was in danger of his bladder bursting and dying of septasemia. Sooo, many $$$$ later, he has had his urethra shortened and is recovering from surgery quite well. He has to wear a cone on his head for another week and then they'll take his stitches out. He's getting sick of wearing it though and he's coming up with creative ways to take it off (like hooking his head over the steps and pulling backward). I think he knows how important it is to leave the wound alone b/c he didn't rip out the stitches like I thought he would. Good kitty.
6 comments:
Hang in there chica! SO proud of you for being open about this! What a wonderful family you have to take such good care of you!!
I have a cousin who had horrible postpartum depression and she went on the drugs too. She said she thanked God for them later. Those first few months are crazy on the first baby. Hang in there. Emery is just adorable! Congrats on your cutie and a successful surgery with Toby!
I never really understood PPD until I had my second baby just 14 months after my first - I was soo weepy & tired and overwhelmed - but I thought it was just that - being tired and overwhelmed. I didn't know enough to ask for help but now - almost 3 years later - I look back and realized I should have - I came out on the other side relatively unscathed - but life is overwhelming, being a mom is overwhelming - good for you for recognizing that there's an issue and for getting some help ~
Hugs from Minnesota -
darcie
thanks everyone...
It will get better. I had PPD with my first. The pills helped tremendously and quickly. If you don't feel better soon, go back to your doc to try a different med. Hang in there.
You should be so very proud of yourself! You are doing an amazing thing by taking care of yourself so that you can take better care of your little one.
I had severe PPD with my second. It was scary and hard and I would never, ever wish half of what I went through on my worst enemy. If you EVER need someone to talk with or ask questions of feel free to email me.
This will get easier. I promise you. You took the first step and you are so much stronger than you realize!!
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