hi, ho, hi, ho it's back to work I go

Well, I did it. I made it back to work on time and with no tears. I think the practice days really did help. I wasn't stressed out going back. I think part of that was do to the fact that it all seemed overwhelming so there was no one thing to stress about, it was all stressful! ha!
Seriously though, I was worried about leaving Emery and that was a little hard, but I tricked my mind into thinking he was still in his little crib with daddy b/c that's where I saw them last before I got in the car. Blake was good enough to take him to daycare today and he'll even do it tomorrow.
The day flew by and before I knew it, it was lunch. I had forgotten to pump in the am during my little 20 minute break b/c I was so busy being exhausted! I did have time to pump at lunch and I dropped the fresh milk off at daycare for him tomorrow. So far: no dipping into our frozen supply. Yippee!!!
Overall, the whole day seemed surreal. Like a step back into my previous life. I didn't feel like myself completely. It wasn't a bad feeling at all, just a weird one. I don't think being back will be too bad after all. I keep telling myself we have a ton of days off in February, a whole week in March and then I'm out at the end of May! It'll go by quickly. I hope...
PS-Update on the PPD: I had a follow up with the doc yesterday and I said that other than some intense dreams (some violent) all was well. She seemed moderately concerned about the dreams, but said if they bother me then I can try another anti-depressant. I'm not really stoked about that since I'm breastfeeding and from what I read, my choices are limited. I feel great and I have full energy back, so I say leave well enough alone.
Here's praying for a snow day tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed!

Operation 7 am: Day 3

I did it!
I got up at 6:45, but was awake at 6. Blake brought Emery in to nurse and the three of us snuggled for about 15 minutes before I got up.
I've already packed my lunch for tomorrow and loaded the car with the breast pump. I think I'm about ready.
We'll see...

Operation 7 am: Day 2

A little better.

What I did right: showered the night before. I was in bed by 9:30. Emery was asleep at 9 (woke up at 2 Mandy, but then slept until 9). Set my alarm for 6. Pumped at 2 while Blake fed Emery. Woke up at 6.

What I did wrong: didn't get out of bed.

I stayed awake though. Blake and I listened to NPR until 7 when he got up. I got up with him and worked out. I think it was a much better dry run than yesterday.
It'll be interesting to see what happens tomorrow morning. I'm not sure how E will sleep. He had a very weird day...he stayed awake from 9 am until 5 pm. I'm worn out and I have no idea what caused him to stay awake all day. ALL DAY. Sheesh.

Operation 7 am: Day 1

Epic failure. Oi!!!!!

Ok, so here's what I did right: Showered last night. Bathed baby last night. Had all baby items ready for loading in the car. Had rough idea of what to put on in the morning. Brushed teeth, dried hair, took contacts out.

What I did wrong: Didn't set alarm...I know, I know, but I was sort of hoping baby would wake up at 6ish. He woke up at 4:15 instead. I didn't get back to bed until 5. I sort of knew at that point it was a lost cause.

What I will do tonight/tomorrow: Bathe myself and baby tonight. Make lunch tonight. Wash and prep bottles for filling. SET ALARM. Lay out clothes. Dress baby in tomorrow's outfit before bed. Hope "that-which-must-not-be-named" happens again.

Wish me luck!!!

Let the dry run begin

Well, the time has come...I must return to work. I have weird feelings about this. I have loved my time at home. LOVED it, but I also felt like I wanted to return to work. This past weekend, I went up to school to get the lay of the land after being gone 12 weeks. It was strange. I had a very Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde thing going on. One minute I was excited and the next I so didn't care. Sigh.
I guess the good thing is I only have 4 months before I'm home with him again. That'll be a good test run for me. I'm really, really not looking forward to August already.
But, enough whining. Now is the week to practice getting all ready again. I go back Thursday. Starting tonight I am beginning "Operation 7:00 am." I need to be completely ready and baby loaded every morning by 7. My mother-in-law seems to find this idea humorous. I've decided I'm going to bathe myself and the baby the night before so I don't have to do that in the am. I need to defrost the milk bottles the night before and pack my lunch too. It'll be a busy night, but I'd rather do it then than get up an hour earlier to do it. PLUS...a recent event has happened in our house. I call it "That-which-must-not-be-named", in the event we jinx ourselves. This said event is usually one that parents rejoice when their children first accomplish it. Emery has been doing it for 4 nights in a row now. About 9 hours at a stretch...but it shall remain nameless...please don't jinx us by saying it in the comments.
Wish me luck on Operation 7 am. I know we can do it.